Glory Ho

I’m just writing to report a bizarre irony. Or maybe its not ironic at all as that Alanis Morissette song has forever screwed my sense of this word, although, thanks to repetitive viewings of Reality Bites, I do know that irony is “when the literal meaning is the exact opposite of the actual meaning.” Yet, still, I am confused. Perhaps it’s the lack of food.

Ironic or not, I’m talking about the American tradition called the doggie bag.

In the United States, whether you order a garden burger, honey-glazed salmon with saffron rice or a caterpillar roll, if you don’t finish it, you can ask for a container to bring the rest home. You know the drill. Manual Styrofoam transfer or craftily wrapped foil in the shape of a swan. The idea is that you leave with leftovers. Not the most attractive word, but it’s here to stay.

Why do we do this? Well, we paid for the food. Restaurant portions tend to be too big in the US. It will be trashed anyway, not sent to a starving country. We’d like to eat it later.

Taking food home isn’t so popular elsewhere. I suspect this has to do with the following: 1) the food won’t keep, which has merit, considering America’s common use of preservatives, while the rest of the world eats more naturally 2) there’s no room in the little fridge at home anyway 3) the restaurant doesn’t have the petty cash to so freely distribute plastic containers 4) the food won’t taste as good at home, anyway and 5) leaving with a doggy bag is just tacky.

While the first, second and third reason apply to developing countries, the fourth and fifth apply to civilized nations with plenty of money, and perhaps a lot of snobbery, too.

America is a pig when it comes to waste. I hear this again and again. We produce a lot of garbage. The pre-prepared food we’re so fond of is wrapped in disposable packages. We aren’t frugal enough to save plastic bags, jars or bottles. And we’re not held accountable, either. Just put out the garbage and someone will take it away. Recycling is a good idea, but a hassle and there’s little incentive besides your own guilty consciousness to separate your own refuse. We’re also known for unnecessarily large portions, which contribute to more waste.

Yet, how strange that its OUR accepted tradition to save every last crumb of our broccoli quiche.

What do you think? Are doggie bags tacky? Acceptable? The greatest invention ever? Depends on the restaurant? You carry your own Tupperware with you? Care to rant about the current American waste problem or why doggie bags are the best? I’d love to hear it.